It is now almost time to call it a day. I am glad to. Have been waiting for blood that never came. Maybe i made a mistake, maybe they were just too lazy to call me to tell me not to expect anything. The weather is terrible i am sad and i have no clue what to buy for dinner; i hope my umbrella still works.

There were only tears because i felt nothing.

I am so tired... want to go home. Just 15 more minutes. Haven't heard anything from T yet today, highly unusual. Will get SMS later i guess. Time goes by so slow sometimes...

Well, here we go again... the Dutch soccer team won the game against Scotland yesterday 6-0. And i am not amused. I was so sure they would mess up again. Even the experts had little faith. So i was happy. But now it seems like they are back in the race.
Oh well...
It's terrible, i am quite broke untill tuesday or so. Hopefully after groceries i still have money for the movie this weekend.
It looks like there will be other collegues here in the weekend that can do the five minutes work i am supposed to do. That will be nice. I only have to initiate the cellcultures at a later time today.
Only one more day till T get here...

Pfff, been working for my money again today. I have been working with the new technique on my own for the first time. It was very stressful. Kind of my own fault because i made a solution in the wrong dilution and i didn't make enough of another solution. The machine is now reading the values. Hopefully later today i can see it worked out alright.
It looks like T is coming over this weekend. I'd love to see him. I left it up to him, because i have some work i have to do on saturday and sunday morning. I have asked on the white board at work if someone else might be here by any chance. We will see. My friends boyfriend will be over here saturday as well, so the plan is to go see the movie "Goodbye, Lenin".
Mailed my parents yesterday, but no mail back (yet). I think they are still on holiday.
I have no more money this week.
Tomorrow morning i will go to H&M with my friend. I need to buy another black corduroy pair of trousers. I need to... They are my favorite and a while ago they were not available.
It is good to see T again soon. He has no money too, he says. I believe him. Poor student. He owes me holiday money. I DO hate those credit cards... :(
That's it, Folks....

With a slight headach i am at work, doing nothing untill i receive the blood from Amsterdam later today. That's quite alright.
Nothing much has happened over the weekend. I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Saw 3 bands, of which i don't remember the name. We drove home and were in bed again round three. Was quite alright.
Yesterday we didn't do anything special. Just sleeping in and hanging in the house. We were pretty tired all day. We ate a typical winter dish and went to bed early, which was quite nice.
Nothing much going on right now. T's mum has apparently invited me over for family fun evening on the 24th of December. He let me know in one of his SMS messages. The thing is that my parents will be visiting Holland from the 19th of december till the 7th of januari. So they are expecting their car back, which is quite logical, but too bad for me... I am not sure how to do it all round the period of Xmas. Maybe i need to rent myself a car again. Last visit to Germany i rented a car. Was cool to be able to drive 170 Km/h on the Autobahn. Anyway, i think i can only get it (Xmas) to work if i have a car.
I am so happy to be in Belgium for new years. Hopefully i can borrow dads car then. T mailed me that he looks forward to being away as well. I know that my flatmate shares the feeling. I am just not particularly sure about her boyfriend. Their relationship knows many difficulties and is constantly under strain. I do, however, think they fit together very well.
So, nothing much going on... The world is still a shitty place (just look in the papers) but i sometimes can't be bothered. Im listening to "Interpol" now, cool band somewhat like "Joy Division". One of T's friends burned a CD for me from the German band "Camouflage", somewhat like "Depeche Mode". One of the songs is audible on the holiday video tape (filming from a moving car while radio is playing). Very cool by the way...
Soooo, everything is quite alright i guess. Except the fact my boyfriend lives 2 hours and 45 euros away from me in another country.
:x

[mail to my sweetheart]

Hey, sweetie

Indeed i guess with the subtitles it is perfect for us to watch a german movie ["Goodbye, Lenin"]. Maybe we both learn something... lol.
I know... When you leave i can still smell you as well. When i got back home last sunday and undressed for bed, i could smell the whole of your room in my sweater. lol, cigarettes and you.
I really miss you too. Your dutch SMSjes are soo sweet. Makes me want to crawl into the phone and SMS myself to kiss you. Probably someday it will be possible.
This morning on my bike to work i remembered my comment about marriage in front of A and M. And well, it wasn't tactful. It is a very nice idea that ppl decide to chose eachother and promise to stay together forever. I love that commitment. I only have trouble with the fact that most ppl make it ridiculously expensive and I have noone to invite... lol. i dunno, it came out a little harsh... na ja...
I am looking forward to the new year. I have never had that before.
[...]
Sorry if i seem to talk so much about her and R. You and them are the only ones that i care so much about that it hurts to see either one unhappy. I am glad i care so much, although sometimes it is difficult. But i guess you can understand that. Not too long ago i couldn't feel anything. When i lived with my parents i didn't feel anything but sorry for myself, and even after i moved out. I didn't recognize falling in love with you conciously. I mean i remember wanting to go to the library very much during breaks to chat. And i remember feeling disappointed whenever you weren't there, but i didn't really recognize it as being in love or something. I have learned much about myself the past years and there are some times that i can be content about myself now.

Anyway,
I am glad u are in my life and that we can get along so well. At this point in my life there is absolutely noone that can even slightly replace you. Hope you stay with me for a long long time.
XXX

[/mail to my sweetheart]

Finally i have time to write... But now i don't feel like writing anything important or really personal...
I can tell you that the next contestant in the cookie baking contest out did herself like she also does on her birthday. She baked cookies from a beginning of the last century recipe from Finland (thats where she is from originally) and they were delicious. We are lucky collegues, to have a birthday-collegue in our midst today. So, as it is almost coffee time, my stumach prepares for the cake i expect.
The car is fixed but the amount of money i had to pay is dredful. But at least i got some service.
My weekend was very nice. We talked about something that needed some attention for a while now. That was good. It's weird how afterwards i always wonder why i didn't talk about it sooner.
Well i'm going for some coffee now...

Yeah i was right. Today was hectic. Went to work first by bus. Then Back to the train station and on the train to Amsterdam. Then transfer to other train, after which i had to walk 20 minutes or so, searching for the right uni building. Then back.

Yesterday when i got home i was asked to jumpstart my friends boyfriends car. After which we were both dead, carwise. There was a garage in the neighborhood that was willing to start the cars. Needless to say that my dad's car wouldnt cooperate. It had to be pushed into the garage.
I still don't know what is wrong with it.

In the meantime i have rented a car which i have to pick up this afternoon to be able to drive to my boyfriend tonight.

I am so tired now.

I hope i get a little more energetic and happy before i get to Essen.

Tomorrow i'll be picking up a receptor-blocker that we need for an experiment on monday. The lab that's providing it, won't be able to send it before monday. So my boss asked me if i could go. It's only about 30 minutes away by train, but i would rather stay here.
After dinner i will drive to Essen. Will drop off flatmate at boyfriends house before that.
I have the feeling it will be a hectic day tomorrow.